Forget about AMG, this thing is already the real deal.


In a world where everything from the E-class station wagon to my toaster oven has had a huge AMG motor foot-stomped into the space between its fenders, Mercedes-Benz has shown remarkable restraint in thus far refusing to AMG-ify the GL-class SUV. And with the release of this latest version, the muscular GL550, why would it? Besides, the wheels are from AMG. Isn’t that good enough?

Using the same delicious 5.5-liter V-8 that has wormed its way across the Mercedes-Benz lineup—here it makes 382 hp and 391 lb-ft; it’s also found in the CLS550, the E550, the S550, and the you-get-the-idea550—this latest GL has got some serious balls in its basket. This is one fast SUV: how’s a best-in-class 5.9 seconds to 60 mph sound? If you’re still not impressed, consider that this mastodon-sized piece of hardware weighs in at a whopping 5569 pounds, roughly equivalent to the weight of the piles of gold bullion it requires to afford the $82,415 as-tested price.

Still snorting derisively from your armchair, sure that we’ve inhaled some Mercedes-scented smoke? Here’s one more performance figure to blow your mind: the GL achieved a 70-to-0-mph stopping distance of 165 feet. Kind of pedestrian for a sports car, but when you consider that it took the last Lotus Elise we tested just three fewer feet to achieve the same, uh, feat, you kind of start to look at the GL550 in a whole new light.

And looking at the GL is something you’ll actually want to do now, what with the standard AMG body kit. Where lesser GLs look a bit tipsy, nouveau riche, and just sort of ugly, the GL550 really looks the part. Those AMG-inscribed wheels? They’re 21-inchers, wrapped in low-pro 295-40 rubber. The rest of the dress-up kit includes side sills, running boards, new exhaust outlets, and some seriously boss fender flares.

The cherry on top, though, has to be the manhole-diameter three-pointed star centered in the grille: it’s the largest badge Mercedes has put on a passenger vehicle. Ever. The overall effect is one of machismo and purpose, although the running boards are perfectly sized and placed to make getting in and out a pain.

Dynamically, the GL550 is pretty good, too. There’s still a touch too much squat under hard acceleration and brake dive, but those are easily mitigated by popping the standard Airmatic suspension into Sport mode. (Like every other Airmatic-equipped Benz, Sport is comfortable enough for all but the roughest sections of bombed-out pavement while returning adequately agile handling.) The suspension does a pretty good job in all modes of quelling any wheel crash you might get from those heavy, oversized shoes, too, but the smaller 18-inch wheels of the more inexpensive GLs allow for a cushier and more buttoned-down experience.

And looking at the GL is something you’ll actually want to do now, what with the standard AMG body kit. Where lesser GLs look a bit tipsy, nouveau riche, and just sort of ugly, the GL550 really looks the part. Those AMG-inscribed wheels? They’re 21-inchers, wrapped in low-pro 295-40 rubber. The rest of the dress-up kit includes side sills, running boards, new exhaust outlets, and some seriously boss fender flares.

The cherry on top, though, has to be the manhole-diameter three-pointed star centered in the grille: it’s the largest badge Mercedes has put on a passenger vehicle. Ever. The overall effect is one of machismo and purpose, although the running boards are perfectly sized and placed to make getting in and out a pain.

Dynamically, the GL550 is pretty good, too. There’s still a touch too much squat under hard acceleration and brake dive, but those are easily mitigated by popping the standard Airmatic suspension into Sport mode. (Like every other Airmatic-equipped Benz, Sport is comfortable enough for all but the roughest sections of bombed-out pavement while returning adequately agile handling.) The suspension does a pretty good job in all modes of quelling any wheel crash you might get from those heavy, oversized shoes, too, but the smaller 18-inch wheels of the more inexpensive GLs allow for a cushier and more buttoned-down experience.

We’ve never taken cotton to the typical Mercedes steering sensation—it always feels as if road feel is being delivered to you on a tiny pillow by a tiny butler—but there is good precision and heft to the wheel. The seven-speed automatic is fantastic in full auto mode, with smooth, nearly seamless up- and downshifts, but the transmission gnome that controls the button-actuated shifts needs to drink some Red Bull, as it takes a while for anything to happen.

Inside, the accommodations are first-class, although for the extra bucks this commands over its siblings, there should be far more differentiation and even more upscale appointments. Headroom and legroom is good in the first two rows, but merely adequate for the third. Being in the far-back, though, isn’t all bad, as a fixed-glass panel above helps alleviate the gloom associated with most third rows.

Standard equipment includes, well, almost everything, but if you’d like to get more specific, here’s an abridged list of what’s tossed in: a rearview camera, heated rear seats, a power sunroof, power rear quarter windows, a power steering column, and a top-spec Harman/Kardon stereo system. The only options on the GL550 are things like a cargo area box, rear seat entertainment, keyless ignition, and a trailer hitch. The last option we heartily recommend; we towed a little bit with our test vehicle, and we can say that it tugged like a champ, although we admittedly didn’t really get anywhere near its 7500-pound limit.

We drove approximately 1400 miles in various conditions, and fuel economy was a dismal 14 mpg, although that figure falls within the EPA estimates of 13 city/17 highway. Stepping up to the GL550 isn’t about saving the earth, though—it’s about salvaging your street cred. The GL550 is aimed directly at rich guys who care a lot more about the image they project than pinching pennies or saving fuel.

Those guys will gladly pay the massive premium, some $24K (!) over the diesel and $21K more than the GL450 which makes just 47 fewer horsepower. To be fair, much of that is tied up in standard equipment that is optional on the other GLs, and Mercedes is very happy to offer the much more reasonable GL320 or GL450 to those folks who don’t like crappy fuel mileage or flashy body kits. The GL550 is fast and stylish and screams exclusivity. Sounds like it should be wearing an AMG badge on the liftgate instead of the wheels, doesn’t it?


VEHICLE TYPE: front-engine, 4-wheel-drive, 7-passenger, 5-door wagon

PRICE AS TESTED: $82,415 (base price: $77,750)

ENGINE TYPE: DOHC 32-valve V-8, aluminum block and heads, port fuel injection
Displacement: 333 cu in, 5461cc
Power (SAE net): 382 bhp @ 6000 rpm
Torque (SAE net): 391 lb-ft @ 2800 rpm

TRANSMISSION: 7-speed automatic with manumatic shifting

DIMENSIONS:
Wheelbase: 121.1 in Length: 200.6 in Width: 83.7 in Height: 75.4 in
Curb weight: 5569 lb

C/D TEST RESULTS:
Zero to 60 mph: 5.9 sec
Zero to 100 mph: 15.6 sec
Zero to 130 mph: 33.3 sec
Street start, 5–60 mph: 6.2 sec
Standing ¼-mile: 14.5 sec @ 96 mph
Top speed (governor limited): 131 mph
Braking, 70–0 mph: 165 ft
Roadholding, 300-ft-dia skidpad*: 0.78 g

FUEL ECONOMY:
EPA city/highway driving: 13/17 mpg
C/D-observed: 14 mpg

*Stability-control-inhibited.


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Sounds like best in class to me.

M

Good review except for the social commentary...why don't they just tell us about the cars they test instead of the buyer demographics and status.