Indeed, pretty much everything about the new Audi RS6 is mouth-permanently-slightly-open mental, except for the way it looks. The headline is the engine: that V8 has bred a little and is now a V10 with a pair of turbos that produces a simply earth-moving 571bhp - in an Avant bodyshell.
Seriously, even if you're not turned on by torque curves, this one has to be seen to be believed - the peak torque figure of 480lb ft is produced ridiculously early at 1,500rpm and tries to brain you with the headrests until the orangey sunset of the rev-range somewhere north of 6,000rpm.
But like all RS products, it looks relatively anonymous. There are the traditional mortar-sized oval pipes slung out on the edges of the rear bumper, silver mirrors, square wheelarches that pay homage to the Ur-quattro and the obligatory 20-inch wheels, but this is definitively not a showy car, especially in darker colours.
£77,625 RS6 Price tag!
Inside it feels special, but it's hard to be sure why. You can point at objective stuff like the lovely bucket seats, the flat-bottomed 'RS' trademark wheel, the obsessively clinical dash arrangement that looks just so perfect - but it's not the kind of car that is equipped with an interior that tries to define the experience.
Saying that, there's a glorious engineered weight to the whole car even at a standstill that'll put a respectful grin on your face. You may have heard rumours about geological build quality, but here it is red in tooth and claw. It's almost as if the RS6 is actually built in manufacturing HD. Just a little bit more real than other cars.
Firing the V10 up is almost a little religious rite. Foot on the brake, press the red-lit starter button (you don't have to - the car starts on the key as well - but it's fun once in a while) and there's a starter-motor whine followed by a familiar bassy thump of an RS6 yawning into life.
The noise is peculiarly revvy-sounding up to a baritone crescendo, at which moment it gets dispersed by a torrent of induction noise like a waterfall having a tantrum under the bonnet.
Weirdly, it sounds better from outside, and less weirdly, twice as good with the optional sports exhaust.
Really, if you're a crap driver, you need an RS6. It'll make you look better than you are, like those special mirrors in clothes shops that make you look thinner. It flatters to deceive.
Twitch your foot, engage those turbos and prepare for thrust like you've just engaged a pair of 747 jet engines welded to the roof rails.
After a few hours, it is empirically impossible not to come to the conclusion that this, without a shadow of a doubt, is a genuinely awesome car. A car to be respected and revered. A pinnacle of speed plus poise plus horsepower divided by driver talent.
It's really boring.
It's hard not to be seduced by the sheer speed, don't get me wrong, but I've never become so blasé so quickly about this much horsepower before. Even with such monumental outputs, there is no 'edge' to the RS6 - at least one that's accessible to mortals.
There is no sense of loss when getting out, no sense of being emotionally attached to the car. In some ways it's the perfect Audi, but not the perfect Audi RS.
What makes it worse is that Audi isn't boring. The RS4 is magic. The R8 a revelation. But the RS6 is a demonstration of engineering skill, of manufacturing excellence, rather than of passion. And a car this berserk needs to be able to connect to your soul to really switch it on.